Facing Christmas without the loved ones can be very difficult. Across the UK, co-operative funeral homes are helping people to remember those they lost and cope with some of the challenges faced.
Funeral homes run by the Lincolnshire Co-operative will display a memorial Christmas tree where customers can leave messages to those they lost.
The trees are at Lincolnshire funeral homes until 21 December, giving people the chance to pay tribute to their loved ones. The society, which runs 21 funeral homes, will also host coffee mornings at their funeral homes between 10am and 12 noon, to help people cope with bereavement.
Head of funerals David Dernley said: “Christmas can be an especially tough time for those who’ve lost family members and friends. Our professional funeral colleagues are always on hand to help, whether someone needs advice on their arrangements or simply chat over a cup of tea.”
During the festive period, the co-op will be raising funds for local financial wellbeing charities as part of its Community Champions scheme.
The Co-operative Group runs a similar initiative by inviting bereaved families to visit Memorial Trees in many of its funeral homes. Past clients and any bereaved families are invited to their nearest funeral homes to decorate the tree with personal messages in memory of their loved ones.
This year, the Group hosts more than 200 events across the UK to tackle loneliness and support the bereaved. Activities include memorial services, carol services and Christmas Eve coffee mornings. Many of its nationwide bereavement groups also hold Christmas dinners and get-togethers in December.
David Collingwood, the Group’s director of funerals, said: “This time of the year can be particularly difficult for those who have lost a loved one. For this reason, over the festive season, our Funeralcare colleagues go above and beyond to organise special events to make sure everyone is able to enjoy Christmas.
“We hope that by holding events over the festive season, and throughout the rest of the year, we’re able to help those who have lost a loved one reminisce on happy memories.”
The Southern Co-operative is inviting residents to dedicate memory stars, which will be placed on Christmas trees in its funeral homes, to their loved ones.
Ingrid McAllister-Derry, from the society’s free Bereavement Centre, said: “After someone close to you has died, any celebration can be particularly hard.
“The memory stars give people the opportunity to re-live happy moments and make sure their loved ones are still included in this special time of year.
“For those who are finding it particularly hard, we have advice on our website, such as starting a new tradition, and our free bereavement support is available to everyone.”
The society is hosting a number of events between 19-21 December inviting people to pop in and have a mince pie.
Tamworth Co-operative is also bringing comfort to the recently bereaved with its annual Christmas carol and memorial service. Organised by the society’s funeral division, the event is attended by hundreds of people every year.
This year it was held at St Editha’s Church on 1 December. with a ceremony led by the Reverend Alan Gordon, which saw the lights dimmed and the church atmospherically illuminated by a sea of candle lights held aloft in memory of lost loved ones.
Tamworth Ladies Choir appeared for the first time at the event, along with soloist Tom Clamp and Scottish piper Jonathan Prior. Tamworth staff handed out goodie bags containing candles and other gifts, and read out festive poems.
Amanda Woodward, general manager of funerals at Tamworth Co-op, said: “Originally the service was intended to bring comfort to the recently bereaved, but it has grown in popularity over the years.
“It gives families the opportunity to spend some time in quiet reflection of relatives and friends who are no longer here with us. At the same time, it is a chance to celebrate Christmas with others in the magnificent setting of St Editha’s and enjoy singing carols. There is a real atmosphere of goodwill and warmth throughout the night.”
At Central England Co-operative, funeral care providers hold Forget me Not group meetings, which bring bereaved people together to talk about their loss, socialise and create lasting friendships.
Funeral director Kate Spencer said: “The group first came about after a family lost their father, and the children of the family approached me to ask if there was a support group in the area that their mum could attend.
“It was also not the first time that I had heard people ask about a support group in the area. I felt this was a real issue.
“The initial meeting was launched to run for the six weeks leading up to Christmas and was a great success with a regular group of eight people coming along every week.
“What people liked was that the group was not just a bereavement group. It was something more. It allowed people who have experienced similar things to come together and speak about their grief if they wanted to, but also to talk about anything else ranging from subjects such as decorating and Christmas all while enjoying tea and a biscuit.
“It is an informal group that anyone can come along to. It is also the kind of group where you can come as and when you need it. We will always be here for those that need us.
“I think the group has helped make a difference for all those who have been coming along and I am proud of being able to give something back to those who are going through difficult periods in their lives.”
Bereavement midwives at Burton’s Queen’s Hospital heard about the group and asked if staff at Stretton Funeral Home, could launch a group to help people in need.
A special Forget me Not group was then set up to offer help, friendship and support to those who have lost a child.
Funeral administrator Heather Lovatt said: “The entire aim of the group is to provide additional support to families who have lost a baby or a child.
“I myself have lost a child and this helps me completely understand what not just parents, but all members of the family go through during such a heart-breaking time. This is something that is really close to my heart and I want to use my own experiences to help as many people as I can.
“The group is not just about bereavement. It is something more. It allows people who have experienced similar things to come together and speak about their grief if they want to, but also to talk about anything else.
“It is an informal group that anyone can come along to. It is also the kind of group where you can come as and when you need it. We will always be here for those that need us.”
Joanne Shillito, bereavement midwife at Burton Hospitals, said: “We provide the immediate support to families who have lost a baby but it’s really important that they have access to an on-going support network. Many grieving families find it helpful talking to others who have similar experiences and we are pleased to be working with Central England Co-operative to facilitate the Forget Me Not group.”
